Livy took this picture a few weeks ago, not that I like it but it definitely describes how I feel right now....
Just sitting here eating Cafe Rio's pork salad on my own and moaning with each bite. I only go there about 6 times a year so it seems special. I definitely have this I need to deprive myself to appreciate something attitude, get that from my Dad. I am the same way with clothes I always want to save the best shirts for a special night out, before long it is out of style and I have worn it once. I have issues.
Let's just say I have had a shit week. I am trying to take the girls tubing each Saturday. After getting the 18 layers of snow gear on, the girls went into the garage while I got some snacks. Livy goes without her boots so her socks were socking muddy wet. I of course got mad, ripped off the wet socks and told her to get new ones. I hear Livy talking to Anna that she wants a new Mom and wants to live in California. A couple months ago Anna told me she wanted to live with Aunt Chris in California because she is the best Mom.
A few days later Anna asks me if I am pregnant because my tummy is sticking out......nice! Then a few days later Anna tells me I was nicer last year and I seem to get mad at them a lot more this year. Lets just say I have had a few days of feeling sorry for myself and feeling like a failure. I decided being a Mom sucks sometimes, the only feedback you get are from 4 and 7 year olds that are brutely honest and don't just tell you what a great person you are..... Needless to say I thought I was protecting my girls from the turmoil of finances and selling a home, evidently not. Need to work on a few things.
The one thing that keeps me going is Livy hugs and kisses me about 8 times a day and tells me she loves me....why is it that all the bad things are what I remember.
Hopefully next week my post will be more positive...
4 comments:
I think you are the BEST Mom I know! I am always trying to be a better mom like you. You are a great example to me!
Oh Lar, it kills me that you are having such a bad week. I think you are the greatest mom too. And believe me I've seen a lot of different parenting styles. Maybe your trip to Cali will be just what you need. Can't wait to see you guys.
Aside from the fact that 2008 has been the crappest year ever, Christmas is always a tough one anyway. lots of expectations and not just from the kids! as ali and jane have said you are a fab mum and seeing that pic of you wants me to jump through my pc screen and give you a big hug and try and help you in any way i can.
so 2009 is apparently a great year for aquarians - i am embracing this great year - and hopefully my greatness/good luck will be spread to all my nearest and dearest. so maybe those lotto tix may just win lovely lara.
speak soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
p.s. it's because they love you so much that they can say those kind of things around you. they trust and adore you implicitly.
Your post made me so sad for you - all mom's have crappy days ( or weeks, months :)) and I am glad that you are honest enough to write about them on your blog.
I can't tell you how many times Alli has told me what a fantastic mom you are - your girls are so lucky to have you!!
I hope you are having a better week!
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